i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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