Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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