i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
