Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
