Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
