Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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