well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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