Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
