peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
