So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize