you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
