can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize