I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize