i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
