accomplished twins. life is a go
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
