My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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