Whod you bang
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
My vagina is officially offended.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
