at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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