I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
