her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We need a shit load of segways right now
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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