Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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