I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I will be naked everywhere
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
