I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
