Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I'm always down for nudity.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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