Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
