Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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