They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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