Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
