I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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