Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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