Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
