I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
