is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
