The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
