how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
