just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
