im gay
i know
yea but for you.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
