I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize