How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i just made my gag reflex go away.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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