Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
