but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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