Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
high people should be assigned attendants
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
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