If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
