I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
