are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
