I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
