You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
