Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
ok first of all what the fuck
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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