WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
