on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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