if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize