His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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