i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
