Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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