real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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