I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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