I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
