I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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