Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize