He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
