I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
