This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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