so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
